Not wanting to let go
Don’t want to say goodbye
Yet wanting to moveon
So many feelings to deny
Not wanting to forget
Still caught up in the past
Hoping these feelings will change
Hoping these feelings will not last
Afraid to start all over
Afraid to move along
Knowing that these feelings can’t last forever
Knowing these feelings are all wrong
Counting all the nights I spent alone
Remembering all the times I sat by the phone
I walked the path we walked
Kept on replaying all the times we sat and talked
I felt the pain you put me through
I remember spilling every inch of my heart to you..
Only to be left in the wind
Bringing my heart to its cold end
This black hole
So dark
So cold
Tried to burn the memories of me and you
but only found the pain you put me through
Left here to feel nothing but despair
As you go on living
I lay down to sleep tonight asking myself..
"Do you even care?"
You never realize how much you love someone until they’re gone. You never realize that, yes, once their love surrounded you but now, what do you have? Memories. Why does love hurt so much, when it’s supposed to be a good thing? Why do we dwell on the past, when the future is what matters? It’s something that, yeah, I guess can’t be helped but, maybe it’s harder for you then it is for someone else. Faint smells of cologne, a song on the radio, a movie, or a single word, these ae things that bring back those memories. But you can’t hide from these things, because, they’re there and no matter how hard you try to, they’ll always be there. Even when you have moved onn to the future, and things don’t trigger the memories as much as before, they still do. You can’t forget someone you’ve loved, you may want to, but you can’t. Love cannot be forgotten, no matter how hard we try, and how much we think it will ease the pain, it will always be there, forever
"Missing you isn’t the hardest part. It’s knowing that I once had you that breaks my heart. And even if it kills me, I’m gonna smile. I could hold on a little tighter I know, but when you love someone you’ve got to let them go."
Hidden among all the words
In the vast vocabulary of everyday
Lies a single, short word
Confusing to everyone in every way
Some people insist they are experts
Knowing everything it entails
Others readily deny it
and admit to knowing that it fails
Poets old and new alike
Have forever guided its reputation
Telling of the happiness and joy
Or its ever present state of devastation
People view this single term
With their own experience in mind
And come to their own conclusion
But many are viewing it blind
Many people admit to using it loosely
Not fully understanding its heavy weight
Others admit to never saying it
Not willing to suffer an ill fate
As a person stuck in between
Looking at it from both sides
I know the feelings of both
And the emotions it provides
As a woman of only 18 years
I can admit and honestly say
That love has eluded me so far
All I can do now is pray
That I will one day learn
What it is like to be
Surrounded by this word
From someone who has it for me
Mixed signals you’ve given me caused pain in me each night. I’ve tried to understand why things just can’t be right. It comes as no surprise. I denied what was going on- So much I want to say to you emotions hidden too long. Along the way we built a wall, Opportunities slipped away… I wanted to open my heart to you yet, unsure of what you’d say. I can never let another touch my heart the way you do. So, wherever life may lead you, Please remember… I’ll always care4u. Although I feel somethings might change my feelings grow stronger still. And if my heart must let you go for your happiness — I will
I hold them deep inside me Forbidding them to grow. They sneak their way out occasionally. It’s when my true feelings show. It’s hard for me to keep them in. Difficult for me to control. I struggle trying to keep them there. These feelings I can’t let go. Some days are filled with happiness. Others taken over by blue. I hold them deep inside of me And silently keep loving you
I saw him a while ago walking down the stage in his clinical attire. Honestly, I volunteered myslf to be one of the usherettes on their clinical graduation para mahiling ko man lang siya for the very last time. I know he’ll be busy completing his cases and reviewing for the upcoming board exam kaya baka dai ko tlaga xa mahiling..ngee..what I really wanted to do a while ago is to congratulate him personally but..poor me..he already passed my way several times but I didn’t tried to talk to him..i don’t know why, I was so nervous and my knees were shaking and my hands were trembling..huh!! I wasted the opportunity..hay naku!! Stupid me..haha..pero ok nman na nhiling ko siya on the day of his graduation..maski papano happy na din ako. I know there are things that can happen unexpectedly..malay natin maging coleague ko pa siya in the near future..haha!! What I really wanted even before was to have a simple conversation with him pero ewan ko ba..pirang stars naman ang winishan ko, pirang kiray nman ang pinalayog ko pero dai tlaga ngyayari..hahaahha..whatever..I guess I just have to wait for that moment to come.. and when that day comes, I’ll be the happiest person in the world..baduy..haha..
ma graduate na siya,dai ko man lamang siya nkaulay sa almost 3 years ming pag stay sa sarong university..waaaahhh..so sad..huhuh..ni hi or hello wala man lang..waahh..sabagay..who am i..who am i??hahaha..nasayang lang kaya si oras..honestly, he’s the reason why i decided to pursue my chosen course here in usi..para mhiling ko siya..haliput lang palan ang 2 years..i can still remember the time when i was so sad kasi gagraduate na siyang highschool,tpos mlipat na siyang skul..pansin ko lang na si na feel ko kato iyo na2man ang nafeefeel ko ngunyan..pirang days nlang ma graduate na siya..dai ko na tlaga siya maiiling..hai..pero diba i have to be happy for him..kasi achievement nman nya yun eh..ofcourse im happy for him..nasasad lang ako ta sigurado dai ko nanaman siya mahahagilap arog kadto..haha..basta sain ka man lupalop mkaduman..susundan taka..hahhaa..arog lang kang pagsunod ko saimo dgd..hahaa..jowk lang..pansin nindo i did not mention the name of the person im referring to..syempre..just wanna be safe..lol..pero sa mga nkakakilala sa tinutukoy ko..lufeton ano..kang 3rd yr hs pa..hanggang ngunyan na 3rd yr college iyo pa nggad..well..may magagawa ba ako..hahha..bsta im happy for him..bsta dai ako matugot na dai ko siya mkaulay on the day of his graduation..just want to congratulate him personally..that’s all..
Honestly.. I’m crazy about him.. but that doesn’t make me stupid.. yea I’ve been hurt enough times to learn my lesson.. and I know he’s not the only guy in this world.. I mean why would I waste my time on someone who doesn’t appreciate me.. when everyone tells me I could do so much better? He knows where to find me if he ever wants me.. but my world isn’t going to stop and wait for him.. if he does happen to come .. whose to say I’ll even be here when he does?
